SO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY OF MY ADVENTURES TODAY. WE WENT TO THE GARDEN CENTRE ON A “FAMILY OUTING” I SPENT THE ENITRE 3 HOURS WE WERE THERE LOOKING AT ALL THE FISH, BUNS, SNAKES, BIRD AND LIZARDS UNTIL FIVE MINUTES BEFORE WE LEFT I CAME ACROSS THIS BADASS MOTHER FUCKER. HIS NAME IS CHARLIE, AND INCASE YOU CANT SEE HE HAS A LABEL ON HIS CAGE SAYING CHARLIE MAY SWEAR, AND FOR SOME REASON I FOUND THIS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HILARIOUS AND WAS LAUGHING ABOUT IT ALMOST HYSTERICALLY, THEN THIS OLD COUPLE WALKED PAST AND SAID SOMETHING ABOUT “IMMATURE TEENAGERS RUINING SOCIETY” AND THEN MY FRIENDS, I SHIT YOU NOT, THIS BADASS FUCKING PARROT TURNED AROUND TO THEM AND LOOKED THEM DEAD IN THE EYE AND WHISPERED “FUCK OFF” AND I LOST MY SHIT, THE LOOK ON THE WOMANS FACE WAS PRICELESS, THEN THE MAN WENT AND COMPLAINED TO THE MANAGER OF THE GARDEN CENTRE ABOUT “ROWDY TEENAGERS” AND “HARASSMENT FROM BIRDS” THEN THE MANAGER WALKED OUT ASKED ME WHAT HAD HAPPENED AND WHEN I HAD FINISHED EXPLAINING HE TOLD THE COUPLE ABOUT THE WARNING LABEL AND HOW I HAD DONE NOTHING WRONG AND IN ALL HONESTY IT WAS THEM BEING ROWDY NOT ME, AND HE KICKED THEM OUT AND BROUGHT ME A COFFEE AND APOLOGISED FOR THEIR NASTINESS AND THAT IS THE STORY OF HOW I GOT A FREE COFFEE TODAY

SO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY OF MY ADVENTURES TODAY. WE WENT TO THE GARDEN CENTRE ON A “FAMILY OUTING” I SPENT THE ENITRE 3 HOURS WE WERE THERE LOOKING AT ALL THE FISH, BUNS, SNAKES, BIRD AND LIZARDS UNTIL FIVE MINUTES BEFORE WE LEFT I CAME ACROSS THIS BADASS MOTHER FUCKER. HIS NAME IS CHARLIE, AND INCASE YOU CANT SEE HE HAS A LABEL ON HIS CAGE SAYING CHARLIE MAY SWEAR, AND FOR SOME REASON I FOUND THIS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HILARIOUS AND WAS LAUGHING ABOUT IT ALMOST HYSTERICALLY, THEN THIS OLD COUPLE WALKED PAST AND SAID SOMETHING ABOUT “IMMATURE TEENAGERS RUINING SOCIETY” AND THEN MY FRIENDS, I SHIT YOU NOT, THIS BADASS FUCKING PARROT TURNED AROUND TO THEM AND LOOKED THEM DEAD IN THE EYE AND WHISPERED “FUCK OFF” AND I LOST MY SHIT, THE LOOK ON THE WOMANS FACE WAS PRICELESS, THEN THE MAN WENT AND COMPLAINED TO THE MANAGER OF THE GARDEN CENTRE ABOUT “ROWDY TEENAGERS” AND “HARASSMENT FROM BIRDS” THEN THE MANAGER WALKED OUT ASKED ME WHAT HAD HAPPENED AND WHEN I HAD FINISHED EXPLAINING HE TOLD THE COUPLE ABOUT THE WARNING LABEL AND HOW I HAD DONE NOTHING WRONG AND IN ALL HONESTY IT WAS THEM BEING ROWDY NOT ME, AND HE KICKED THEM OUT AND BROUGHT ME A COFFEE AND APOLOGISED FOR THEIR NASTINESS AND THAT IS THE STORY OF HOW I GOT A FREE COFFEE TODAY

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